Why Maths Confidence Starts with One Thing: Lowering the Stakes
- Kiran Arora
- Jun 14
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 16
“I hate maths.”
“I just freeze.”
“If I get it wrong, I feel stupid.”
These aren’t rare comments — they’re everyday thoughts from students (and parents) who’ve learned to associate maths with pressure.
What “High-Stakes Maths” Feels Like To a Child (and you, probably)
To a child, maths can feel like this:
“If I get it wrong, everyone will think I’m dumb.”
“Everyone else gets it — why don’t I?”
“This is a test, not a lesson.”
“If I don’t get it straight away, I must not be a maths person.”
It’s not about the topic. It's how the maths feels.
It’s about what feels like is at stake — approval, identity, embarrassment, failure.
That pressure can unfortunately get reinforced at school, where speed is praised, silence is mistaken for understanding, and mistakes are marked in red.
Why This Is a Problem
When students feel like maths is a performance, not a process:
They avoid risks
They stop asking questions
They can disconnect — or give up entirely
And here's the hard truth:
You can’t build confidence or skills when you're afraid to try.
What Can We do to Lower the Stakes at Home
You don’t need to be a maths expert to help your child feel safer — just intentional about the tone you set. Try these small shifts:
✅ Praise effort, not speed
Say: “You worked that out really carefully” instead of “Wow, you’re quick!”
✅ Share your own struggles
Saying “I remember finding this tricky too” gives permission to not know everything yet (note: this is very different to saying "I'm not a maths person either" to them, which can reinforce their negative association with it, more on this in a different blog post)
✅ Avoid calling things easy
When a student struggles with something labelled “easy,” they panic. Instead: “This one takes a bit of thinking — let’s work through it.”
✅ Normalise getting stuck
Say: “It’s normal to pause. That’s part of problem solving.”
These aren’t huge changes — but they shift maths from a threat to something safe and learnable.
📘 Case Study: From “I Don’t Get It” to “I’ve Got This”
When I first met Amaan (Year 10), he barely spoke. He’d panic when asked anything, and his mum told me he’d say things like:
“What’s the point? I’ll never get it.”
We didn’t start with hard maths. We started with mindset:
I gave him space to try without pressure
We normalised mistakes
We slowed down — and made sure he was in a comfortable environment so wrong answers didn't mean the end of the world.
After a few weeks, his confidence was unrecognisable.
I design sessions to feel calm, encouraging, and safe — because that’s when learning takes off.
🧠 Mistakes are part of the process
Wrong answers are valuable — they’re where understanding begins.
💬 “I don’t get it” is welcomed
It’s not a dead end — it’s the beginning of real progress.
👥 Small groups = big safety net
Everyone has space to speak and think.
“The classes are small so more attention can be given to each student.” (Parent)
🎯 Success isn’t about speed or perfection
It’s about building clarity over time.
“My daughter used to feel lost in her higher set. Now she feels confident — because Kiran explains things in a way she understands.” (Parent)
What Happens When We Do Lower the Stakes?
Confidence grows. Anxiety drops. Progress becomes visible — and meaningful.
One parent shared:
“Kiran tutored my special needs son through his GCSE year. From a failed grade to college entry. We’re eternally grateful.”
Another said:
“He has boosted my grade significantly — and I’m always keen to join the lessons.” (Student)
This is what happens when maths feels safe. Students try more, stay longer, and learn faster — because the fear is gone.
Want This for Your Child?
If your child is anxious, unsure, or stuck in the “I’m just not good at maths” mindset — we can change that.
📍 Calm, supportive small-group tuition (online + Slough)
📍 Built to rebuild confidence and tackle tricky topics
📍 Perfect for students who’ve lost motivation or feel overwhelmed
📩 Summer and September spaces are now open.
Send me a message if you'd like to talk it through.
Let’s take the pressure off.
Let’s lower the stakes.
Let’s help you feel confident again.
Kiran Arora
GCSE & A-Level Maths Tutor and Qualified Teacher, Slough-based, online small groups
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